AI Commentary – Delusion Breeds More Delusion

It just seems we can't get away from the delusional contestants on American Idol this year, and it seems each year that passes, it's only going to get worse and worse. Now that the show has been a success for a number of years, we not only have repeat offenders, but every time a silly bit works to get someone on TV, it seems someone tries to outdo that the following year.

The ultimate delusion this year seemed to happen in New York, and I'm a little worried, that it will spawn even more next season. Sarah Goldberg pranced into the auditions smiling broadly, but there was just something a little off from the get go. She sang Dreaming of You, and afterward admitted to being tone deaf. Okay, so at least she's not delusional, right? But, she wasn't there just to get on TV; she was there to be on the show even though she was tone deaf.

How would this work you're asking me. Well, we were all asking the same thing last night. Sarah expected the judges to pass her through and teach her to sing, seeing herself as the ultimate Idol since they could mold her the way they wanted. But, umm, they're looking for the best singer. Exactly, she reasoned, they could mold her into that, and she'd work real hard. Yeah, right. They're going to send your tone deaf ears to Hollywood to sing next to people that have worked their whole lives for this. It would be like a slap in the face to them. And, you know what? I don't think you can fix her problem, either the tone deaf ears nor the delusional self.

After Sarah left, she apparently went psycho. She not only complained that the judges were rude to her for not accepting her tone deaf ears to Hollywood, she complained they were all treated poorly there. And she'd become close and personal friends with each and every one, including the security guy. I'm guessing it's because the other contestants asked him to pull her off of them. She was also extremely incensed that the judges had the audacity to go out drinking last night. Like they'd go to New York and sit in their hotel rooms all night watching HBO?

Simon was on to Ian Benardo right away. I don't know if Simon watched last year's So You Think You Can Dance, but I did. Ian wanted a special place to hang his ratty fur coat that looked like he'd stolen it off some old lady walking down the street that had had it in her closet since the Roaring 20s, then proceeded to get nasty with Nigel Lythgoe. Today he pranced in with a chinchilla stole that looks like he skinned it off road kill and sings a terrible version of Gloria, before going off on Simon. He's got something against the Brits, I think. He even demanded to see Simon's visa. Simon knew his number from the get go, though, and said he knew it was all an act, and had security escort him out. Now Ian can become friendly with the security, too, just like Sarah.

More delusion comes from Ashanti Johnson. She was lucky enough to make to Hollywood on two prior seasons of American Idol, yet never any further. She seeks to get past that today. Oddly, she tells the judges she's worked so hard for this chance, and goes on to describe her current eating habits. I'm not quite sure what that has to do with showing how her singing talents have improved. Ashanti's audition song, Lovin' You, is absolutely dripping with desperation. The judges seem to like her even less than the past few times they've seen her, but she won't take no for an answer, wanting to know if it's her tonation and if she engaged them enough. Too many classes for you, Honey, and now you're just trying too damn hard. She ends by taking us through a soap opera where the only thing missing is a long lost twin sister. Simon tells her she's not good enough. Get over it. Yeah, what he said.

The real soap opera of the evening lay with Sarah Burgess. She's 19 and running away from home, sort of. In a story that just cuts through all of our hearts, she tells us her parents are against her pursuing a singing career, but she knows she's got it. She wants to hear her father say how proud he is of her. She lied to her parents, cut school, and came to New York for the auditions. All our heart strings are completely stretched out after Sarah tugging on them all night. She has a great voice, too, and easily makes it to Hollywood. By the time she calls her dad on Ryan's phone to tell him the truth, I am sobbing. I think the spot of emotional favorite is a tie between her and the girl who last week told us she was a crack baby.

Another young one was Jenry Bejarano, 16. The difference is he not only has the support of his parents, his mom is the one that talked him into auditioning. He was adopted into this family at just one years old. He sings great, but where I get creeped out a little is noticing that Paula is attracted to him. He's 16, and she'd old enough to be his mom. I have a 13 year old son, and can't see flirting with his friends. Eewww. But Paula is obviously attracted to him, and says he is "easy on the eyes." I still don't believe any of that about her and Corey Clark, but this still grosses me out a little.

Not that Simon was able to stop himself from oogling the young ladies, although at least he ogles 19 year olds. Amanda Coluccio and Antonella Barba came to audition as best friends, and Fox engages in a little sexploitation, showing the girls flopping around on the beach together in their bikinis. Simon remarks that the two must be extremely popular, then puts that all away and pits the two girls against each other, telling one she was better than her friend, and that in show business if someone is down on the floor, you should kick them. Although the girls have been best friends for a few years, I'm not sure if it will hold up to the stresses of Hollywood. Having them both make it is probably worse than only one of them making it. And if one of them leaves Hollywood before the other, it's going to be very tough.

Nakia Nicole Claibourne could use a best friend. She has the best energy of possibly anyone I've ever seen on the show before. She's just immediately likable, as she bounces around talking about how happy she is to be here, and how great it's going to be to go to Hollywood. Uh-oh. She's counting the chickens, and I haven't seen any hatching. Her bubbly version of Dancing in the Streets is very cute, and when the judges start talking to her about the need to calm down, she launches into the slower Dreaming of You, and all the flaws in her voice can be heard. In an American Idol group I belong in, Rich from Ohio suggested she should have never sang the second song, as she looked like a sure bet before that, and thinking about it since then, I think he's right. She just got so ahead of herself, and then, she was so dejected, I just wanted to run there and ask her to be my best friend. She killed me, to see her go from bouncy to one big sigh.

I felt really sorry for Christopher Henry, too. He came in with the news that people often compare his looks to that of George Michael and Simon Cowell. Simon doesn't see the comparison, but has to say that Christopher is a good-looking guy. That's where his nice-isms stop, though, as he is very mean to Christopher about his voice which is in an upper register, and sounds similar to a girl's, especially because he was singing a Kelly Clarkson tune. Simon makes cracks about him needing to be in a dress and stilettos, and while I defended him and his cracks last week, this one goes too far. That, and the guy should have had a chance at singing something more ... manlier, other than a Barry White tune, which is what Randy suggested.

After tonight's show, I can guarantee many more people that were rejected in Hollywood will try to make a comeback after getting the idea from Ashanti, and I am positive quite a few tone deaf will take up Sarah's argument and try to finish what she started. The judges will only have to be even more cruel to them, and then we'll hear all over again how the judges are so much more cruel this year. We'll also have girls running away from home, and the new tagline will be "I'm running away to try out for American Idol," instead of "I'm running away to join the circus."

For more on American Idol, see Reality Shack

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AI Commentary - Doing a Little and Doing a Lot in Memphis

No matter how you look at it, tonight's auditions were very different than last week's. Mostly in the fact the people didn't seem to be as delusional, which of course left less room for any cruelty, warranted or otherwise. And at least two of the auditioners seemed to be the exact opposite of many that auditioned last week.

Jason "Sundance" Head got his unique name from his hippie parents, and his dad had a hit record himself in 1965. Roy Head's Treat Her Right reached #1 one on the charts that year. Sundance always figured fame would come his way as well, and didn't even try too well in high school, yet here he is at 27, still waiting for his big break. And while everyone else is walking around talking about about how much the judges are going to like them, and what's going to happen once they get to Hollywood, Sundance is saying they won't be prepared for him, and will probably kick him out, calling him a smartass.

Yet, as Sundance walks in for his audition, he talks about his incredibly lucky year, marrying his longtime girlfriend, expecting a baby on Christmas day, and getting to American Idol. Simon thinks it's a little premature, and sits back to listen to Sundance singing Stormy Monday. Honestly, I look for the person that gives me chills every year. Sometimes there's more than one, and sometimes I struggle to find just one. This is my first chill. He was terrific. Simon thinks he's one of the best voices this year, and says he'd be shocked if he didn't make it to the finals. The last time I heard Simon make predictions like that was Carrie Underwood. He's going to be fun to watch.

The other one that isn't walking around smacking of I'm so great is Melinda Doolittle, a professional backup singer. Asked why she's in the background, she says just likes her space there, in the background, while she does her thing, and the leads do their thing. She also says she's had to sit on her hands all day to stop them from shaking from her nerves. She sings For Once In My Life, and is incredible, although, wow, she has no confidence. You can see it in her body as she's crouching down waiting to see if everyone is going to like her. The judges overwhelmingly approve of her, sending her to Hollywood, and I don't know if she can make it that far without confidence in herself, but it would be great if she could. Maybe she needs to change her name to DoALot.

Then we have the contestants that go right back to delusional. Travis McKinney can't stop talking about how much emotion he's going to put in his song. He's singing for his girlfriend, because they once had problems, but are now on solid ground. He predicts he'll be the first to single-handedly bring emotion to American Idol. I've seen some pretty powerful emotion these past five years, so rock on with your bad self, there, Travis. And while he's got some great emotion, his explosive dancing is oddly placed, and his singing just isn't good. His girlfriend just might not thank him for that.

Christopher McCain keeps talking about the girl that got away, and he's one that's already on people's lips as a possibility for the cruelty of the week award. His wife cheated on him, he took her back, and she left again anyway, yet he has a mad crush on Paula. He sings Footloose, complete with the dancing to the silent musical interludes. Simon tries a crack at him about his wife leaving because of his singing, but Randy shushes him. Instead, Simon says he is reminded him of a guy getting drunk at a wedding. It was obvious, at least to me, that this was his attempt at getting back at his wife, and it seems to have backfired, as he leaves without a ticket to Hollywood and without Paula.

The interesting look of the night goes to Sean Michel, as even he calls it a cross between Osama Bin Laden, Jesus, and Fidel Castro, but I'm calling it Ben Affleck that needs a shave. He's apparently homeless and says he thinks we all are in some way. Maybe he means spiritually or something, unless he's living in the tents on Apprentice. He sings a little Johnny Cash, and is ... interesting. I wouldn't walk away saying wow, he's got some chops, but he can sing, and he's interesting. He makes it through, and the bets are on whether he'll keep his interesting look, a la Taylor, or get the Idol makeover, a la Clay.

Another interesting look is Janita Burks, saying she thinks the judges will look at her and think she's well put together, innocent, aggressive, and really sexy. I think she might have one of those four, as she's in a skin tight dress that is so low cut, one wrong move, and we'll be calling her Nip. She sings Disco Inferno, and Paula has to tell Janita to watch it while she bends forward at the waist. As Simon jokes that she was a "handful," she does not make it through, as she didn't sing well. This is a case of someone thinking they can get through by titillating the judges. It worked against her.

I'd like to tell you all about Timika Sims audition, but she was so drone, it's hard to remember anything other than her droning and staring at the camera, as she struggled to know what to say. Next!

Frank Byers, aka Franks and Beans, was the complete opposite. He's a college cheerleader and coach, and the judges were shocked that he was over the top. Hello? He's a cheerleader! His whole design is to get people on their feet! After he's ejected, he gets Simon on his feet as he goes out to tell the cheerleaders that came with him to shut up. Of course, he adds in he's not being rude. Of course!

For the heartwarming moment of the auditions, we have Philip Stacy, whose wife went into labor and delivered their baby while he was away at the auditions. He wants to sing Let's Get It On, joking that it's the last thing his wife wants to hear. Instead he sings, My Girl for his wife and daughters, but should have stuck with his first instinct, as the judges didn't like it too much. He switches it up to the other song, and they like it more, getting him through to Hollywood, but he should have started out with it to begin with, and used his humor on them.

Randy asked for a cigar, but Philip was unprepared. I think he should have asked Castro.

For more on American Idol, see Reality Shack

For more American Idol information, see SirLinksalot: American Idol